The Least I Can Do

This is the week where our Church hosts the local homeless shelter program called Safe-nights.  Our local community action group spends the cold months of the year moving a group of 30 or so homeless folk around to different churches and community centers in the county.  They have cots and blankets and the host churches provide dinner and breakfast.  It's a really huge effort, which over the course of a winter can host upwards of four hundred people.  Four hundred homeless people, some of whom are children, just in this county.
If I think about it too long, it just makes me steaming mad.  When I look at these little faces that come with their bowls for some ice cream after dinner, I think two things:

1. I am so glad to be able to give them something.
2. I wish I knew some way to fix this.

I saw a little internet video done by comedian Russell Brand (who is showing up as the voice of conscience and reason rather more often than would expect from a man who makes his living telling dirty jokes).  He gave a rather alarming comparison: we could end homelessness in this country with the money that we, as a nation, spend on Christmas decorations.  I inherently distrust these sorts of comparisons, because I wonder how exactly this sort of thing is extrapolated on both ends (how much do we actually spend and how much would it actually cost to end homelessness, and is it a purely financial phenomenon).  But I do have to think that there are ways we could do better than we are for less than the cost of one of our more trivial expenditures.
I mean, if we're really going to celebrate Jesus birth, especially with the story that most of us have adopted about the circumstances of his birth, we ought to be working a little harder to make sure there is room in the inn.
This homelessness thing is a societal problem, it is a result of our capitalist economic system, which is good in many ways, except when it must deal with matters where profit is difficult or impossible.  Our church must invest a moderate amount of time, energy and money into participating in this network, but it's the least we can do, if we wish to care for the least of these.
Even these little ones though are not the least, because they can pass muster with the system, they can play by the rules long enough to get a warm place to sleep and a few good meals. There are some who are too mentally ill, or too addicted to drugs, or just too anti-social to be able to host in this program.
Some of the people that are with us now seem like they may be a little on the edge of acceptability, and one wonders if they would or could ever learn to "play the game" well enough to make it out of homelessness forever.  I suspect that some people might always choose to live on the margins of society.
It is a fairly common move to start to consider the most extreme cases rather than the ones closest to the path.  Indeed, in those sorts of shocking cases, it's tempting to feel like you're just enabling some really destructive life choices.
You can't let that stop you, do what you can.
As I wrote about last week, with the example of the people arrested for feeding the homeless, sometimes we don't actually see how selfish we're being.
Tonight is my third night of sleeping on a cot in my office, for the sake of this little project.
Every time I'm tempted to feel like a martyr because I'm not home in my own bed, I come back to this realization: I am so blessed.
When I look at my kids, taking their beds and their food for granted, I'm not mad at them, I 'm so glad that I can give them what they need.
At the same time I want us all to look for ways to fix the system, it's the least we can do.

Thank You

Today is the day that we celebrate the service of those who have been a part of our nation's armed services: Veteran's Day.  There is an awful lot of baggage that comes with our country's military activity over the past 50 years or so, but I have been and I remain thankful for the individuals who serve and for the system that trains and equips them.  Our armed forces are truly remarkable on many levels, and regularly engage in work that is absolutely beneficial and often humanitarian in some of the most difficult places in the world.
As someone who has very little martial inclination, I especially appreciate the fact that there are men and women, fellow Americans, who are willing and able to do the sorts of things that are necessary for peace and security in an unstable world.  Because I don't really want to handle that stuff on my own.
I hold in my heart a persistent tension: as much as I despise war, I truly appreciate soldiers.
In fact, my opinions on war are largely informed by my relationship with people who have been soldiers.  I have had the privilege of knowing a good number of soldiers, sailors and Marines: my grandfather, my uncle, several dozen church members over the years.  On the occasions when I have spoken to them about war and fighting and such their perspectives have struck me as being remarkably circumspect.  Much more so than the macho posturing that one often encounters among militaristic sycophants.
None of them seem to hold their valor with any amount of pride, and most of them would rather tell you about their scars than their medals.  It has been extremely interesting to me that, in real life, men who have been to war are often more compassionate than those who it seems dream about it.  It is my experience of the actual veterans that I have known, rather than some idealized version, which informs my thinking on this list of things we owe our soldiers:

1. Mission: they should be given a purpose, and that purpose should be as crystal clear as possible.  We should never have to describe the places we send our soldiers as a quagmire.  I can guarantee you, in those times when our Armed forces found themselves in such a mess, it was not their own ineptitude that created it.
2. Honor: We should give them a change to be honorable, and we should honor their service, even and especially when we disagree with the job they have been given by our leaders, who we have elected.
3. Gratitude: And I'm not just talking about saying thanks on Veteran's Day, I'm talking about doing the things that need done to help them live the life that they fought for.   Whether it's physical and medical care or psychological healing, we need to make sure we're caring for ALL the wounds they might carry as s result of what we have asked of them.
4. Peace: Every soldier I have known dreamed of being home when they were away.  None of the ones who saw war up close and personal thought it was something to celebrate.  The best way we can thank our soldiers is to create a world where fighting is not necessary.
5. Grace: Realize that they are not superheroes, they are simply men and women who have a particular job, and that job benefits us all.  Understand that, even though they may be willing to lose their lives for our sake, we should do everything possible to make sure that they can enjoy a long and plentiful helping of the very things they fought for.

Those are the things I pledge to give our soldiers in any way that is within my power, I will do it with my votes and my prayers, with my words and my actions,  I will try to remember to say thank you whenever I can, until we study war no more.

The Mind Killer

I must not fear.

Fear is the mind-killer.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.

Only I will remain.

-Frank Herbert, Dune

The Litany Against Fear of the Bene Gesserit

I have to admit, for a made up religion in a science fiction novel, that's pretty good stuff.  Almost, I dare say, worth committing to memory.  You will notice below on what I like to call the Wheel O' Feelings, that fear or feeling scared is a primary emotion, from which spring all sorts of other emotions.

*this is the most common version of the Wheel of Feelings..

All fairly negative emotions.  In fact, out of the three negative core feelings: mad, sad and scared, fear is the least constructive.  We all know that anger can be an engine and a source of strength, and anyone who has ever read poetry or listened to music knows that sadness has it's own creative juice, but fear... not so much.  If fear doesn't get transmuted into something else (hopefully a positive emotion, but failing that at least into constructive anger or reflective sadness) it just leads us into the muck.

And thus everyone, from guidance counselors to Jedi Masters will tell you that avoidance is probably not the best way to deal with your fear.  What Herbert uses as the core of his Bene Gesserit Litany against fear is the idea that your fear is a useful indicator of sorts, something like the tracer dye that they use to diagnose certain types of cancer, it marks the places where you are weak, and shows you where you need to grow or heal.

Fear can often limit our ability to experience the positive things of the world, and thus fear is often the greatest culprit that keeps us from living as our true selves.  Fear of what other people will think, fear of rejection, fear of failure, and ultimately fear of death, are some pretty universal human emotions, and generally speaking, do they lead anywhere?

Only if you manage to move past them.

It troubles me that so many people seem to be religious because they're afraid of something.  In a lot of cases, people seem to be afraid of God.  To which some will say, "well, that's because, 'the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."  But actually, blind fear and the willful ignorance it engenders, do not lead to any such thing.  Only fear in the sense of reverence or perhaps some good old fashioned awe and wonder will really lead to more wisdom.

We cannot actually help being afraid.  People who have done immense acts of courage will tell you, if they're being honest, that they were terrified the whole time.  That's actually why they're brave, not because they didn't feel the fear, but because they pushed through it, or rather, to use Herbert's words they let it pass through them.

When you analyze your fear in retrospect, you can often see how truly brave you were, and that's where learning and truth can come in.

The Christian journey of faith is, in large part, a journey of letting the fear of God become something different than just feeling scared of God.  Let it become Awe, let it become reverence, but never forget that God loves you.

Outrage Du Jour

Have you heard about Fort Lauderdale arresting a couple of pastors and an absolutely adorable 90 year old man for feeding homeless people?
Of course you have, because the interweb locks on anything that outrageous like a patriot missile.  And I have to admit, it gives me a good case of the same kind of sinking feeling that Ian Mckellan's narrative in The Lord of the Rings does, you know, when he says "the strength of men failed."  Because it's a cultural failure of empathy, this sort of thing, and it's not just happening in dead-red places like Florida either.  How can we call ourselves decent people, let alone Christians, if we make rules that say you can't share food with people who are hungry?  How can we arrest pastors and little old men who just want to do something nice for people who are down and out?  What are we becoming?
These are all good and valid questions, but as Bob Dylan says, "Take the rag away from your face, now ain't the time for your tears."
See, somewhere in the kerfuffulous outrage of all this, someone missed a detail.  Fort Lauderdale, as is the case with many medium to large cities, actually has a fairly well developed social services system to deal with the needs of the homeless.  They work towards feeding, clothing and sheltering the homeless.  As with most government bureaucracies, they probably don't do it perfectly, and there are probably folk that fall through the cracks.  They may not have enough resources and their provisions may be uninspiring (I have personally seen homeless people throw away sandwiches given out by the shelters, because, in their own words, "I can find better food in a dumpster.")  But they are there, and they are doing something that most private do-gooders are not, namely trying to get people to not be homeless in the first place.
Now, this doesn't soothe the outrage away entirely.  Fort Lauderdale is still a corporate jerk wad for arresting little old men who feed people in the park, but as with most situations where red flags are being waved to arouse all sorts of righteous indignation, things are more complicated.
Here's a thumbnail sketch of the reasons why some cities are choosing to make feeding the homeless illegal:
First of all, it's not illegal per se, it just must be regulated.  Fort Lauderdale, being in Florida is a good test case of this need, because like most of Florida, it has the climate of an armpit, meaning warm and humid almost all of the time, and safely serving food in said armpit-like conditions can be tricky.  If you buy a taco from a lunch truck, hopefully you will see a department of health license somewhere within said vehicle, if  you don't, get your taco someplace else.
Second, and this is perhaps less morally tasty, feeding people good food, for which they are not required to do anything, does nothing to remedy the condition of homelessness.  Although it does keep them from starving to death, so from a personal compassion point of view it's good, but from a societal perspective, especially in places like Florida (see flip side of armpit coin) where you're not going to freeze to death on an average February day, if you can get fed and don't mind the minor inconvenience of living the outdoor lifestyle, why would you bother with a job or being a responsible member of society?  I know, it's a bit thin, but it does bear a little truth.
I wondered this morning, as I was stewing about this whole mess, whether this was a problem for Jesus.  Did he ever heal a leper and then have that person decide that begging for alms was just easier than participating in actual life, and so pretend to still have leprosy?  And what about the demoniacs?  Because if you're going to deal with the mental illness aspect of homelessness you should look at those.  Does the Gerasene Demoniac, who was living among the tombs, once he is cured and in his right mind, go get a job?  How well was his community going to accept him, even if he "seems fine now?"  His wild years are always going to be a stigma.
Unfortunately, with the exception of Mary Magdalene, we don't have any long term accountability studies of people that Jesus healed, we don't know if he really did them any favors by his wanton acts of charity.  I'm only being a little sarcastic here, because the grain of truth in what is otherwise a morally reprehensible act of un-charity, is a perpetual burr under the saddle of anyone who really wants to help impoverished people.
Where is the line between helping and enabling?
Because that's an important line, and not one that most kind-hearted folk want to think much about.
I get phone calls all the time from people who want the church to help them with this or that.  They all have hard luck stories, and they all seem to only need a little boost.  These people have learned that most churches have benevolence funds that can dish out $100 or so with little or no accountability required.  The local community action group can do the same thing, but there are going to be hoops and requirements, and they really just need a little help, not to be "in the system."
I try not to harden my heart, but I don't have that much to give out on a yearly basis, and there at least a few times a year where someone we actually know and have a relationship with, needs those funds in a real, unrepeatable sort of way.
I like to consider myself a compassionate person, but I have, mostly through random chance, like the experience with the homeless men despising their "shelter sandwiches," and also in those Philly days, offering to buy several pan-handlers an actual meal rather than give them cash (and then being refused), learned that hunger is much more of a problem for people behind closed doors than it is for the ones who have taken to the streets.
Food pantries and soup kitchens serve people who are not always homeless, but may be hungry.  Food stamp programs likewise, but you have to sign up, you have to do some legwork, you have to take responsibility.
And that's where the grain of truth really rubs a little, because there is help for people who are willing to go and get it, and so it may be the case that these lone rangers who are trying to follow Christ's mandate to feed the hungry are just enabling people to stay in the margins rather than re-entering the mainstream.
I still don't think there should be a law against it.

Post-mortem

Well, many people woke up this morning to some surprises for sure.  Republicans have taken over in some places where you thought they would never get a hold, like here in Maryland, where a Republican basically ousted the Lieutenant Governor who was now running for Governor.  In a state that's as blue as this one, that's basically like beating an incumbent.  You kind of expected Kentucky to stick with the Turtle Man, and Arkansas going Republican is no big surprise, but Illinois and some other Democratic strongholds also flipped.
Now the GOP controls both houses of Congress and the Democrats look dazed and confused.  Even some of the Republican analysts seem a little befuddled about exactly how this happened,  I think I have a grip on the dynamic at work here, and I don't think it's good, but not because I tend to lean to the left.  I think it's bad news for all of us, including the new wave of GOP folk who just took power.
What is happening is that people are sick and tired of the status quo, and this is a trend that goes beyond the current election cycle.  Republicans figured out that the best way to win back the power is to point out how ineffective and dysfunctional the government actually is, while trying to spin thing in such a way that people didn't notice that they had a big hand in making it that way.
Obama has won his two terms by promising change during the electioneering and playing it pretty safe during the actual Presidency part of his life.  The pretty much sure fire way to win an election in an era where there's so much that's obviously broken is to say that you can fix it.  People want to hear it, and they'll give you the benefit of the doubt, until you prove that you're just the same as all the rest.
Only if things are good, i.e. Clinton's second term, can you run on the, "hey let's just keep rolling" platform.  Things are not good, the economy is sputtering, even if the catastrophe has passed, wages are low, taxes and cost of living are high, we are always on the brink of some war or other catastrophe, and most of us just want things to change.
The Maryland Gubernatorial race was a perfect example.  Anthony Brown was the Lieutenant Governor of two term Governor Martin O'Malley.  O'Malley has the record of a "typical" Democrat, tax and spend, fix things by throwing other people's money at the problem.  People were pretty fed up with O'Malley, during my time in Maryland, I have heard very few people, even dyed in the wool Dems, say anything good about him.  Brown did not really distinguish himself from O'Malley, and the Republican challenger, Larry Hogan, seized on that fact.  Hogan labeled Brown's candidacy "a third term for O'Malley."  Hogan carefully avoided talk of social issues, and according to one commentator, didn't so much run against Brown as he did against O'Malley.  It worked.
This should not be a shock to anyone, people can be very easily pulled into reactionary thinking, especially when things get tough.
The Republican party, though this may be wishful thinking on my part, has peeled away from the Tea Party mentality and leaned back towards the center.  They have gauged the winds and found out that people maybe aren't as afraid of gay marriage as they used to be.  They may have even learned that people, even Republicans, actually like having health insurance.  This allowed them to present themselves as a new creation, with new being the operative part of that phrase.
The reality of the political situation in this country is that both parties have sort of stopped generating any new ideas.  They have divided ideologically and pragmatically into separate camps and have essentially painted themselves into political corners.  The thing is their corners are not really that different from one another, and the sense among average people, myself included, is that it really matters very little which group runs the show.
That is probably true, I don't think the Republicans are going to fix what's broken, all their motivation to change evaporated the second those ballots were cast.  Ask the Democrats, inertia doesn't get you anywhere nearly as far as it used to.
The dominant political motif of this era is frustration.  You hear it from Republicans and Democrats alike.  Some have said that this might be a formula for revolution, if we weren't so engaged with our bread and circuses.  Sometimes I wonder though if the charade of politics isn't just another diversion.  Sometimes I wonder if our allegiance to a political ideology and/or the party that represents it, is even as deep as our rooting for our favorite football team.
Even if I'm puzzled, I'm not particularly shocked or concerned about yesterday's results, we just changed the color of our tie, the suit still fits as badly as it did on Monday.

Exposure

We did it, we voted.  I say we because I took the kids with me.  They did their usual kid thing, sort of squirming and twitching through the whole process, which was predictably and blessedly simple.  Caitlyn got a sticker that said, "I voted," just because it's a sticker.  As we were waiting for a booth to open up, one of the volunteers at the polling place was talking to us about her experience as a girl, going with her grandmother to vote, and really not wanting to stand up and wait, because her back hurt, and her grandmother's lack of sympathy.  However, even though she was remembering something that actually caused her pain, her face was happy and she remembered feeling a part of he process.
Here she was, years later, involved in the process of democracy, entirely as a volunteer, I suspect in large part because some adult in her life taught her and showed her that it was important.
I don't really have any guilt about dragging my kids to things, like church events, polling places and such, because it exposes them to what it means to be a part of society.  This morning wasn't a Mr. Rogers moment, where I taught them all about various political offices or even about politics in general, it was just a moment where they saw me doing something that I told them was important (see yesterday's blog).
The perpetual angst of the church about how to attract and engage a younger generation is, I suspect, a much bigger problem than anyone really wants to admit.  We lament the self-involvement of 20 somethings, the over-programmed life of 30 somethings, and we kind of cross our fingers and hope 40 somethings will wander back into the church.  I used to think that was going to be the case, but I don't see it happening.
But if people have never been exposed to the journey of faith, particularly as it is structured in the communities of the church, why and how would they ever decide to come?
It's one thing if they were dragged there as children, it's one thing if their parents modeled, perhaps imperfectly, that it was an important and vital facet of life, but what if their parents constantly griped about the service being too long or how Mrs. Jones was such a busybody, or the fact they don't like this or that about the church.  Why would anyone want to be a part of that?
I'm not trying to indoctrinate my children into any particular political mindset.  What I'm trying to do is show them that voting is important, and good, and that it's not all about the end result, it is very often about participating fully in the process.  I'm trying to do the same thing about church, I may be a bit more pushy about God and Jesus, but I'm trying to make their experience of church an important part of their lives.
It's not so important that they "get" something out of the experience, it is more important that they breathe the air and experience the community, in all it's weird glory.
I can certainly talk them through the questions and the theology as they grow up, in the same way as I can share with them the nuances of politics, but for now, I want to give them the exposure to a world where decisions are made, and values are expressed and where they can get a sense of what is important.
Many assumptions the church makes about what draws people are very much the same as the political system.  Why certainly people must want a relationship with God/voice in government.  Why surely, if we make it easy for them, if we make it painless and streamlined and maybe even give them cookies, they will show up.  Maybe if we gripe about how apathetic everybody seems to be, it will change their mind and get them through the door.
Voter turnout and church attendance data seem to indicate that these assumptions are incorrect.
It' s going to take more than stickers to turn things around.

Duty

Tomorrow is Election Day and the kids have off from school for some reason or other.  This morning, as we waited for the bus, I told them they were going to have to come with me to vote and then to the office for the day.  Jackson asked me, "Why do you have to vote?"  with the emphasis on HAVE, the same we he says, "do I HAVE to eat my brussel sprouts?"
I told him it is my duty as a citizen.
Caitlyn giggled because I said "duty," which her nine year old, potty-obsessed brain interpreted as a reference to poop.
The conversation was largely derailed, but I made sure to make the point that voting is a privilege and a responsibility.  Which is something I say to my kids, even when I don't actually feel it in my heart.
In my heart, I think the game is rigged.  In my heart, I think the best we can do is pick the least repugnant of two or three corrupt glad-handers who are mostly some version of Boss Hogg from the Dukes of Hazzard.  Often, I have a little bit of trouble distinguishing my duty to vote from the kind of doodee Caitlyn was giggling about.  But that is not an excuse to cop out and just not go.
Our voter turn outs in this country are absolutely terrible, around 50 percent in a good year, with a presidential election.  On "off" years, it's much worse, largely because people understand our political system so poorly that they don't know that there are so many more important things to worry about than who occupies the Oval Office.
Do we pay attention to the people, who have lived under a totalitarian regime, who get to vote for the first time?
Do we watch them risk their lives and their security to do it?
Do we think it's because their candidates are better? (mostly they're not, and often they're much worse).
As low as my opinion of most of our political types actually is, I cannot justify apathy.  It's not fair to all the people who live under the boots of oppression.  This may seem purely humanist, and maybe it is, but I think I owe it to the human race to vote and engage to some extent in this experiment called democracy.
In my smaller sphere of work within the church, I have used this example with regard to people who disengage from the life of the church because they're angry or because they disagree with some policy or other.  If you don't stay, if you don't engage, if you don't participate, how is anything ever going to improve.  Sure, things aren't perfect, but if you don't do your part in the community, you cannot and should not complain.
Unfortunately, this is the approach many people take to church and to politics, they would rather stay disengaged, for fear that the system will let them down.
Which is, of course, a self fulfilling prophecy.
One of the reasons our system is as broken as it is right now is the fact that people vote out of fear of what might occur if someone of the opposite ideology gets elected.  They don't vote on individual merits, but on party platforms, they don't vote on actual integrity, but on slick politicking.
Another reason our system is broken right now, and this is the bigger reason, is that people don't participate, and I'm not just talking about voting, I'm talking about actually becoming an informed voter.  Which is difficult in some ways, but in other ways it's as easy as at least reading a somewhat neutral comparison of the candidates positions and promises (not that they'll have much to do with the reality of their behavior in office).
If you don't know what somebody says they'll do, you can't very well hold them accountable to do it, can you?  If you don't understand what's even possible within the sphere of influence you're giving someone, how are you ever going to have realistic expectations?
You can't trust advertising, and sometimes it's hard to separate the journalists from the advertisers to be sure, and that's work as well, but it's work you need to do, because you're a grown up, and because you're a citizen.
I don't imagine that the election tomorrow is going to change anything, but I'm going to vote, then, at least, I'll have a right to complain about the gubmint.