What's Fonzi Like?

I was on vacation, but this wasn't one of those off the grid sorts of vacations.  While I was in NJ/PA attending a wedding, my iPhone kept me all caught up on the blogosphere and other such techie sounding things.  One of the things that buzzed like a fly caught in the interweb was an article by Rachel Held Evans about why Millennials are leaving the church, and why they might come back.  You can find it here: http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2013/07/27/why-millennials-are-leaving-the-church/

And there have been several good responses, one of the best is right here:  http://www.bishoponabike.com/blog/2013/7/27/is-rachel-held-evans-right.html.

There is a lot of hand-wringing being done in my congregation and in the larger church about how to keep/get back the younglings, and it usually at least glances by the notion of coolness.  To be "cool" or not to be "cool" that is the question.  Rachel says that the young folks don't want the church to be cool, and that large numbers of Millennials, or at least the subset of Millennials that was raised in the evangelical branch of American Christianity, are turning back to the "high" liturgical traditions, which are not cool or rather are cool because they have held on long enough to become cool again, like vinyl records.

Then I read this:
 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/paul-raushenbush/christianity-pope-francis-gays_b_3671060.html

Which threw me another curve in the whole consideration of being cool.  The pope is cool?  Does he know that this is going to drive away all those Millennials who were just beginning to poke their nose in the doors of his Roman Catholic churches?
Or maybe it won't because they like it when you're okay with the LGBT folks.  Except if you really think about it, maybe the Pope isn't exactly inviting the Village People into St. Peter's just yet.  See, he's okay with gay men being priests, still no women gay or straight.  He's okay with gay men being priests because one of the requirements of the RC priesthood is celibacy.  See Leviticus and the Apostle Paul agree on one thing when it comes to homosexuality, it's all about the action not the inclination.  It doesn't say that you shouldn't be attracted to members of your same gender, it just says you shouldn't "lay with them as a man lays with a woman," so see, celibacy clears the whole mess right up, right?
Right?
But I'm still confused about this whole coolness thing...
Maybe it's because I've always been such a geek. I always wanted to be cool like Fonzi on Happy Days, where I walk into a room and girls just instantly glom onto me and I smack the jukebox and it plays just what I want, but I never have been that guy.  I can't really claim to be an authority on cool, so I have tried to think of people who are largely accepted as cool, here's my top five:

1. Frank Sinatra
2. Elvis Presley
3. David Bowie
4. Prince
5. Frank Zappa

They're all musicians for some reason.  Sinatra and Elvis really have to top the list for reasons that are pretty obvious, but I think that Bowie, Prince and Zappa really start to get to the core of coolness.  Sinatra's famous song was "My Way," but musically Sinatra didn't really innovate like Zappa, or bend the boundaries of style and substance like Bowie or Prince.
Prince changed his name to a symbol, and is one of the few people who can wear ruffles, high heels and makeup and still look like he has come for your daughters.
Bowie has defiantly been cool for almost 40 freaking years.  Bowie is so cool that Trent Reznor, Mr. "head like a hole, black as your soul, I'd rather die than give you control," fawns over him like a 13 year old girl fawns over Justin Beiber.
Zappa made the music he thought was interesting to the point where he alienated even the literati of the music world.
Based on my understanding then, one of the major ingredients of coolness is just not caring what people think about you.  Which is the exact opposite of the way that most people try to be cool.  It is painfully true of the Church, when we try to bend to consumerism, when we try to be hip and relaxed, when we try to say that "it's all good," we totally lose our identity and let the spirit of the age steal our face.  Which is why the whole "cool Pope" thing really strikes my fancy, see he wasn't self consciously trying to be cool, he was just being honest and authentic and true to his interpretation of Christian theology and ethics.  He wasn't trying, he just was.
See when grown ups try to be cool, they usually fail.  When you "try too hard" you are like that creepy old guy who shows up at a frat party or a rave and tries to "jive talk the groovy babes," it just doesn't work.
At this point in history, the Church is a grown up, we can't go back to being teenagers, we need to address the reality that being cool now involves going to bed at a reasonable hour, getting enough fiber in our diet, and trying not to be "too boring."
Morgan Freeman is a total grown up, and he's in his 70's and he is as cool as the other side of the pillow.  It is possible to be grown up and be cool, but it's not cool for a grown up to act like a 15 year old, I think we can thank sit-coms for proving that to us ad-nauseum.  What will it take for the Church to be cool?

"Be still and know that I am God..."

-Psalm 46: 10