Contemplation

I know, I do a lot of complaining here.  Even if I try to dress it up as criticism or reflection, it amounts to nothing more than obsessing over all the crap that goes wrong in the world.  I try not to get too wrapped up in the small things, like I don't want to constantly be picking apart TV shows or arguing about which Geek Kingdom is the best (though I will entertain arguments on the relative merits of Kirk v. Picard).  But no matter how I try to stay positive there is this daily stream of really terrible things happening (bombing in Istanbul yesterday), it makes me wonder sometimes if this level of hyper-informational connectedness is really worth it.
I think maybe one reason why people remember the "good old days," as being so good is that they didn't actually know that much about what was going on in the world.  In the world of newspapers and Walter Cronkite, you were more than a couple of clicks away from watching someone get beheaded by a terrorist in a black veil, in fact, even if it was happening somewhere, you would probably never even hear about it let alone see it.
That was probably a good thing.  Not the ignorance, but the fact that you were given time to construct a view of the world with markedly less horror in it. There is something about being inundated with bad news, even if it's important, which upsets your spiritual balance.  The common critique of the internet is that it is really good for only two things: arguing with strangers and pictures of kittens.  And I will admit, after reading through the news of the day at the Post or the Times sites, I am itching to watch some cats do silly stuff, the internet provides the opportunity for both.
But it is actually hard for the good, sweet, funny stuff to outweigh the hatred and fear.  Hatred and fear are, by nature, heavier things.  I am trying to get into a habit of getting up early and going for a walk around the lake at the local park with my dog.  This morning was beautiful, it rained last night and everything was clean and fresh and not too hot at 6:45 AM.  The sun was just rising over the hills and it was in that time when the low angles of the light do really magical things.  I started with the freshness of the morning and a thankful heart.  Then the bugs started to come. Now I wear some pretty serious bug repellent on these walks, because I basically live on the edge of a swamp and the lake shore has some decidedly swampy areas.  The 100% Deet stuff keeps me from getting eaten, but it doesn't entirely stop bugs from giving me a hassle.  There are those buzzy things that like to just sort of dive at your head, apparently before they get the message that you are covered in a toxic film.  I go along sort of swiping at them and then my dog starts pulling at his leash instead of just walking.  Over a couple little rises on the steep side of the lake and I'm working up a bit of a sweat. My thoughts, which had been pleasant and serene are starting to take a turn for the worse.  I'm starting to envision conflicts that haven't even happened, I'm starting to feel defensive and edgy, most of all, at one point, I realize that I haven't even been paying attention to the glorious creation around me, or the magic of the sunlight poking holes in the dark forest canopy, I've been hating those damn bugs.
But I notice what happened, and I won't say that it changes my attitude towards the pests, I don't suddenly become St. Francis, it is simply that I notice what an effect those nuisances were having on me, and in noticing I am able to re-center myself.
This is how contemplation works, it does not keep you from sinful thoughts and ways, in fact, you may find that your mind wanders off on some rather unholy errands at times.  The trick is recognizing, without shame or criticism, what is happening to you, how you are being pulled and manipulated by the negative side of your own mind and soul.  Contemplative practice is ever more important in a world where we don't often pause to reflect about all the information we are flooded with daily.  It is not in avoiding those bugs that the value comes, it is learning to accept them as part of the journey.  Swat at them, swear at them, do what you will, but also look at the light and breath with the trees, feel the blood pumping through you, and remember that God is in all of this.