The Comfort of Being Sad

Warning: If you want Christmas to be super-happy-fun-time, do not bother reading this blog.
If you have trouble Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree however, you might want to keep going.

If you look at the historical reasons why we celebrate Christmas at the end of December, you will probably notice that it actually has a lot to do with the true genius of Christendom: the ability to absorb the practices and rituals of pagans.  As Christian faith moved out of the warm, soft light of the Mediterranean basin and into the harder, colder lands of northern Europe, it encountered a midwinter ritual, complete with feasts, evergreens and the exchange of gifts.  It was a way to stave off the gloom that comes with the long hours of darkness and the cold that afflicts northern latitudes in December.  The tone of these midwinter feasts and festivals matched the tone of the Gospel stories of Jesus' birth quite well.  The birth of Christ lends itself to hope that holds on in the dark and threatening times. The prophecies that were applied to "prepare the way," are well suited to people facing the austerity of northern winters. The silence of winter gives us time to think on the passing of time, the nature of mortality, and makes us perhaps more receptive to a message of hope in new life, resurrection even.
The reason why I think so many people engage, year after year, in grumpy rages about some sort of "war on Christmas," or getting outraged by people saying, "Happy Holidays," or whatever Starbucks has done with their coffee cups this holiday, is that our corporate celebration of this holiday has lost its foundation.  And I'm actually going to posit that this is bigger than just people forgetting about the whole Jesus being born aspect of the equation.  That's important for Christians to be sure, but I think the secularization of this holiday has become so radical that it's not even about "keeping Christ in Christmas."
It has become so commercial that I think even agnostic observances have lost their solemn dignity and their ability to brace the soul with a celebration of dormancy and rest. Christmas carols have always tended to point us in the direction of poor theology and perhaps even incoherence, but peppy Christmas songs are an abomination. They are the soundtrack of trivializing a moment in the yearly cycle of human existence that ought to be hallowed by pagan and Christian alike.
Those who grieve during the holidays see this rather painfully.  The first Christmas after a death of someone you loved is a particular sort of torture, as may be many holidays to come, depending on the circumstances of your bereavement.  The worst thing for someone who is in the grip of sadness and loss is to be constantly reminded of how happy they're supposed to be.
The peculiar thing about the Gospel narratives of Jesus' birth, is that they are absolutely laced with moments of sadness and have a decidedly precarious feeling. Mary is found to be pregnant out of wedlock, Joseph plans to "put her aside quietly," Herod rages against the possibility that a king might have been born and children are killed, Mary has a lot to "ponder in her heart," both hopeful and tragic.  These are not all happy stories.  Winter is not always a happy time.  There are good things that come with it, but there will always be those who do not make it through, there is a suspense to it.
If you are happy at Christmas, I warned you not to read this, you can forget this and go sing Jingle Bells to your heart's content, but I know that a lot of you out there can't exactly feel the Christmas joy the way you think you should, and so this is permission for some different kinds of feelings.  Know that if you are solemn and aware of the preciousness and the temporary nature of life, if you are aware of the passing of things and seasons, if you sense that all is not right with the world as it is now, you are perhaps more in the "true spirit" of Christmas than you realize.