Tuesday, February 18, 2014

How do you "like" a punch in the gut?


Normally, I would just share it and move on.  There are thousands of things like it on the interweb.  My first reaction is, "yeah, that's pretty powerful." My second reaction is that feeling you get when someone punches you in the gut, and you're totally not expecting it, you can't brace yourself, you can't try to avoid it at all.
There are so many people who battle addictions of various sorts.  What the small caption at the beginning says is really true, "everyone has been affected in one way or another."
I want to like this because it gives hope to people who are struggling through it, and it helps those who may have never understood what addiction is about to see addicts as people who are valuable and unique, who have stories and families and people who love them.
I really am happy for all those hopeful smiles at the end.
The gut-punch is the fact that I know there are some people who never get to flash those smiles.
The reminder is that, while there are many who pull though, and see a brighter day, there are many who do not.  The addict that I cared the most about did not get there.
By now I know that addiction is what survivors of trauma call a trigger for me.  Stories about people battling addiction, even hopeful stories about people who are long into recovery, still shake loose all sorts of unpredictable emotional responses: like feeling gut-punched at something that is supposed to give you hope.
So I can't just "like" this and move on.  I can't just share it without comment, because the reason why I really like this is complicated.
Hope is most valuable when you know that it doesn't always end with knowing smiles.
Hope is most necessary when your not sure if the door is going to open again or the sun is ever going to shine on your face.
Hope is something that pulls you through when it's clear that the battle can easily be lost.
Yeah, sometimes hope does feel like a gut-punch, but I guess it's worth taking.

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