Memorial

Flight 93 Memorial Site: Somerset County Pennsylvania

We went to the Flight 93 Memorial site in Somerset County Pennsylvania on our way back from a wedding in the old neighborhood.  You turn off of route 30 onto a three and a half mile road that winds through empty high mountain meadows and you come to this little parking area.  You then walk through an "under construction" welcome area and across a field on a walkway finished in matte black to a wall of white marble with the names of the people who had boarded a plane in Boston on September 11, 2001 as completely unremarkable air travelers, and in the course of the next few hours became heroes and martyrs.
There is more in the works for this windswept mountaintop, there is a large swooping wall on the high point, that is going to become the real center of the site.  It will overlook the "sacred ground" of the debris field, the boulder that marks the center of the impact and the wall of names that points the way.  It's all very striking.  And intentional, right down the strategically placed ledges in the black sloping wall that skirts the edge of the sacred ground of the debris field, designated places for people to leave flowers and mementoes, the most striking of which was a pair of desert combat boots signed by the members of a platoon, who had served in Afghanistan.
Watching the flag wave in a stiff breeze, with the new monument going up on the hill above, and the silent reverence of the white marble wall of names in the distance, you can't help but feel a swelling of patriotism.  The man in decidedly military looking garb who stands by the wall, ready with a very scripted and somewhat stilted speech to give to visitors, cinches it.  He is like the VFW guys who do their thing at certain funerals, liberal with the use of terms like "hero" and "sacrifice."
But as with all things 9-11, I wonder if we are honoring those who died by our behavior in the days that have come since then.  I wonder if we are glossing over the tragedy with all this white marble and carefully planned somberness.
The wall of names is wonderful, the placards with the faces of the passengers and crew is good, the lonely road that winds across the mountaintop is good.  Best of all are the trees that have been planted on the barren places, life in the place of death.  That's all good.
I like the memorial, I like the sense of moving on, I don't like the parts of it that feel like running your fingers over an old scar to stir up any bitterness and anger that might still be lurking, and I think there is some of that.
I have trouble with the phrase forgive and forget, because I think it's really actually impossible to make yourself forget by an act of will.  I believe that forgiveness can happen even when there is still a memory of a wound.  Thus I think remembering is important.  What is crucial is the manner in which we remember.  Do we remember as a tool to heal?  Or do we remember to stoke our bitterness?  As of today, I think the simplicity of the Flight 93 memorial has a healing and living feel, it's the "bigger and better" things that seem to be coming soon that give me a little bit of the shivers.  Are the things to come going to remain in the spirit of remembering and trying to move on, or are they going to embrace that maudlin and dire sensibility that drives us towards violence?