Long Term Side Effects

Fall is finally coming.  For the past four months we have shut ourselves up in air conditioning and tried to deal with the murky humidity of mid Atlantic summer.  For most of that time I have been incubating the seeds that were planted on my pilgrimage, but the cool weather seems to be causing them to grow.  This is, of course, a bit out of place given the seed metaphor, but it actually makes complete sense in my world.  Heat and I do not get along.  I find going outside in face-hurting cold to be more desirable than going out into 90 degree summer heat.  Honestly though my favorite seasons are the transitions: spring and fall.  I like 60 degrees, and that crisp feeling in the air.  In the fall, I just want to be outside, even this fall.
During my last few weeks on the Camino, I began to say, "I am done with this."  Obligatory outdoor activity was getting a bit worn, but it was even more than that.  I was done with the whole experience, the pilgrims, the churches, the albergues, the mud and dust of the way, having to say, "Buen Camino" every freaking thirty seconds, especially on the final stretch where we ran into a boom of tourist pilgrims.  I was cranky, I wanted to be home more than anything.
I came home with a new appreciation of home and family and comfort.
And I'm writing this, in part, to remind myself of that fact.
The feet get itchy.  I'm actually feeling the urge to walk for six or eight hours straight.  On one of my routine walks around the lake the other day, I started to consider what I would put in my pack if I were to go for a 30 km walk one day.
I don't so much want to go back to Spain, quite frankly when I'm honest, I still think I'm done with "Buen Camino," but I do want there to be another thing like it, and there really isn't.  Michele will be happy to know that I'm not honestly planning to go anywhere.  I'm just observing what's going on in my head.  I'm sort of looking for new journeys, new walks, new ways to "go."
I sort of wish I had been a little more patient with the end of my Camino, but you can't usually control your own feelings about things.  In the final analysis, I think that impatience and crankiness was part of the journey.  I don't feel like I did the time we just went from Sarria to Santiago, there is no unfinished business with the Camino.  But there is unfinished business in me.
I think I'm going to have to walk more.
I think I'm going to have to put on that cursed pack again.
I think I'm going to have to do more than take a pleasant stroll.
I knew it wasn't about the destination.  I knew that Cathedral wasn't going to finish it.  I knew that even if I walked to Finisterre and Muxia, it wasn't going to stop, even at the very end of the world.
I came home.
I'm glad to be home.
But I keep looking around for the next yellow arrow.