Three Things

Outrage is in no short supply.  Honestly, just on the ride into work today I heard a story on the radio about ethnic cleansing in Iraq that made me want to cry tears of rage and cry out to God to just wipe our miserable species off the face of the earth, yep it is that bad sometimes. I don't have anything to do about that stuff other than weep for the fact that we are still a savage race of (relatively) hairless, upright walking apes, who happen to be armed to the teeth.  But I have three things that I would like to remove from our list of outrageous outrages.  I'm trying to do you a favor, because I have heard people I know get at least semi-incensed about all of these.  So here are things you can cross off of your list:
1. Obama/ Hilary Clinton / the Illuminati / the smoking man from the X-files, are not coming to take your guns.  I know this is a bit of hot button at the moment, but let's be clear, even the most pro-gun control folks are not prescribing the removal of any and all firearms from the hands of responsible, law abiding people.  There is no need to get all riled up about that, really the best case scenario for gun regulation in the future is to simply make it harder to buy them and to certify in some manner the people that own and use them.  Your deer rifle and bird gun are not in jeopardy, and people who tell you that's the case are preying on your fear so that you will give them money to fight against things that, if you really stop to think about it, make sense for ALL of us.
2. Transgender people using "your" public bathroom.  Why is it that this is even a thing to worry about?  Is it that we find the whole issue of transgender people so odd that we search for something to be outraged about?  Three things about this, first of all, and this applies mostly to the ladies because y'all seem to be more wound up about who gets to go potty in your presence: how do you know?  The thing about transgender people is that they sort of try to live as the gender they identify with, ergo a transgender man who believes he is a she will look and act like a woman, including, I'm guessing, sitting down to pee, in a stall that is designed to give you some privacy while you do your super secret bathroom stuff.  Which leads me to the second thing, what are y'all doing in there that is so needful of privacy?  (tangentially, why is this argument making me sound so much more southern).
Thirdly, having just done some travelling in Europe, I have experienced unisex bathroom facilities, including shower facilities.  After the initial shock to my 'Merican sensibilities it's really not that big of a deal, it is in no way sexy, and honestly I think it would probably make everyone feel a little more connected to our common humanity if we all peed together (okay, maybe I'm going too far on that last one).
3. Finally, I would like to ask, nay implore, the American people, citizens of this immigrant nation, the great melting pot, this social experiment forged out of diverse people who come together to form one nation, E Pluribus Unum, out of many, one: can you stop being so angry when you are asked to press one for English?  Why does a Spanish translation on the menu at McDonalds give you case of the mads?  I get it, I no longer speak Gaelic, or even with an Irish accent, those people who are stubbornly refusing to learn English make for some troublesome moments here and there, but is it really that bad?  Again, having recently spent over a month in a country where I did not speak the primary language, I am aware of how it feels on the other end of that stick.  I was keenly aware of the difference between people who accepted my very poor spanglish and sometimes frespanol (french and spanish mixed up) as valid forms of human interaction, and those who got sort of indignant if I didn't know the right word to use for what I was obviously asking for. Being a stranger and an alien is not easy, and bilingual communication when possible is a simple matter of hospitality, so chill.
None of this is going to solve the real problems of the world, but if it helps you be just a little bit calmer as you work your way through the day, then I have accomplished something.  If it helps you to be a little bit more civil to people around you, then I will be very glad. If it actually leads you to treat people with more kindness because you're not so hopping mad, hooray.